I reside in a small town near Atlanta. I also live relatively close to it’s downtown area. Which means I’ve pretty much hit the jackpot in terms of entertainment. This downtown area ,affectionately named “The Square”, has a scenic park, theaters, restaurants, bars, tattoo shops, and ice cream shops galore 😋😋. And my favorite coffee shop, Starbucks ☕️🍵🍶… I pretty much live there, sans pillow and bed of course 😉. The Square is where I do a lot of my writing, spend quality time with my family and friends, take walks etc. It’s a really beautiful place, take a look:
Recently I visited there on a, (clears throat), date. This was date number two to a bar and grill, live band included. Shortly thereafter I was asked on a third date, I accepted and then something I’ve ran into before happened… when a guy cannot/will not choose a date activity. This.drives.me.crazy. I dislike having to plan everything, every time. Am I the only one? 😒
However, I quickly acknowledged that a guy not being able and/or willing to come up with a place to hang out does not change who he is as a person, namely, his character. And so I resisted the urge to childishly cease communication because in my warped mind, well if he can’t pick out a location for our date, he is clearly just not that into me 😑😑…Ridiculous, I know, yall pray for me 😞😂😂. That has nothing to do with what it takes it to have a healthy/happy relationship. So friends, what DOES it take to have a healthy relationship? What are some non-negotiables?
Here’s what I have so far on my list:
Sense of humor
Shared core values & beliefs
Things that are not acceptable:
abuse (physical, verbal, belittling, berating,controlling etc),
Not being able to pick out a location for a date! (😂😂 joking!!!)
Overall, what I pay attention to most is how does this person make you feel when you are around them? Not necessarily “chemistry” but do you feel good about yourself after hanging out with this person? What is your gut instinct?…Did you notice I did not include any physical attributes on there? Done purposely. While I wholeheartedly believe one should be physically attracted to their significant other…My latter thoughts on that are described perfectly in a novel I recently read. The author writes:
“Think about the long run. If you got fat, would this man still want you? If you were diagnosed with some disease and couldn’t cook, clean, or have sex for a year or more, would this man stand by you? If anything goes wrong, does this man have your back? If the answer is no, let him go. You know how rappers are always looking for a ride-or-die-b!*ch? You should be looking for one of those too.” -“The Awesome Girl’s Guide to Dating Extraordinary Men” by Ernessa T. Carter
I don’t know about you friends but as a twenty-something divorcee trying to climb the ladder of success in my career, maintain healthy family ties and friendships, the last thing I ,or anyone for that matter, needs is an unhealthy relationship. So, what about you friends? What are the makings of a healthy relationship to you? What are your non-negotiables? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.