If you have not guessed by now, today’s topic of discussion is (drumroll please)…..SEX!! And more directly, celibacy. So, let’s dig in. A few questions that came to my mind when considering this topic were the following: What is celibacy? Who practices it? What purpose does it serve?
Well, self, I’m glad you asked: According to the Cambridge dictionary, celibacy is defined as “the state of intentionally not being married or having a sexual relationship”. Or according to dictionary.com:
1.abstention from sexual relations.
2.abstention by vow from marriage:
the celibacy of priests.
Celibacy can be practiced for a period of time while some opt to wait until they are married. For those who have never been married and are waiting until marriage to have sex, this is commonly referred to as abstinence. For those who have had previous sexual encounters but are now choosing to wait(until marriage or otherwise),this would be referred to as celibacy.
But let us be clear, celibacy is not only practiced by priests, monks, cat ladies, those who “can’t get any” etc. According to stats gathered from waitingtillmarriage.org ” About 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex (successfully)”. It is not only something women do either: it is gathered that 60% of women wait until marriage, BUT, 40% of men are choosing to wait until marriage as well. When we think of people waiting until marriage we tend to say that is a thing of the past and people did that “back in the day”. Oh the contrary, according to stats in the 1950’s, not that many decades ago by the way for my teenyboppers 😂😂 , only 11% of people in America waited until marriage while today we are at 3%. As the author points out “Three percent of the US population may seem like a small number, but that represents nearly 10,000,000” people.
I think these are very important facts to look at when we consider all that is displayed in the media, our music, tv shows, magazines etc about waiting until marriage or practicing celibacy period. To put it plainly, we just don’t see it! I mean, who knew that 10,000,000 people in the U.S. are practicing some form of celibacy??
According to our media, everyone (married or not) is having sex, and loving it! Pick up any magazine toward a woman audience and you are bound to see tips for “satisfying your man sexually” and even today images of men on tv still make it seem cool to be a womanizer and go as far to shame men who are virgins, or practicing celibacy. But, I digress. This post is less about society and more on us as individuals.
So, why in the world would anyone want to practice celibacy? I’m glad you asked. For those who’ve engaged in sex outside of marriage, or even in, have you ever noticed or thought that sex confuses things? I wholeheartedly believe that sex,for most people, goes much deeper than the exchanging of physical intimacy but exchanges spiritual things as well. That sex can be like glue that ties these two souls together. After all, we are souls having human experiences. Therefore, once one becomes intimate neither partner is no longer thinking clearly as they once were and cannot see their spouse or situation as clear as they need to. Sex can also become a false means of communication among other things.
Now,Instead of working through issues using our verbal language we can go straight to body language and engage in sex as a means of making amends but once the sex is over those issues are still there and sex was only a temporary band-aid. I am currently practicing celibacy because 1. I believe it is what God has called me to do and 2.I really desire to get to KNOW potential suitors. I don’t want to be confused by our exchanging of sexual energies or your six pack in front of me lol. Seriously.
While those are my personal beliefs on the exchanges of sex I think we can all agree on two things that sex can definitely lead to: highly likely to lead to babies (as cute as they are) and diseases (if not protected and sometimes even with protection). Some are curable and some are not.
I do not, for one second believe that those who have children outside of marriage are automatically doomed to breakup by any means but, let’s be real, that is a very real risk in those situations and I am simply not willing to take that chance on my life or my future child’s. And the best way I can guarantee that for myself is to practice celibacy. Don’t get me wrong, I highly commend those who are able to peacefully, for the most part, co-parent and place absolutely no judgement on those who have found themselves in situations where they’ve contracted stds/sti’s, that life, my friends, is just not for me. Contraception and condoms are not 100% and so I choose to protect myself by the only 100% method out there, celibacy (or abstinence).
It is very true that all of these things can happen in marriage,but for me, I would feel far more confident and safe taking these risks within a committed relationship,namely marriage, than outside of one. While the struggle is OH so real😩,(we all get tempted) I plan on fighting this battle until the end.
Well, what are your thoughts friends? Have you ever practiced celibacy? Would you practice celibacy? Why or why not? Let me know your thoughts.
(picture from Wikipedia.org)